In fact, you may kill each other before that happens. There have been many times in my life where my friends with benefits actually helped me through some serious droughts and dark times.
Of course, the real thrill was the racy sexting that occurred throughout my job hunt. We had dated and learned that the only thing that turned us crazier than two people who just ate bath salts for the first time was actually being in a relationship together.
Still, the friendship became solid and the sex was absolutely addicting. In fact, those two factors made it very easy to trick myself into thinking we were in a real relationship. When I am down on my luck, i.
This is exactly why having a stand-by friends with benefits had always worked out for me. In fact, having a consistent, no-strings-attached sex partner has saved me from making some hideous commitments with the Mr.
Wrongs I would meet during that time.
So, it was surprising to me that my last friend with benefits seemed to last soooo long and be filled with ups and downs. In the past, we would go to shows or meet up at a bar and catch up and what better way to end a great evening with a friend than having sex with them? After a few years of sleeping with my ex, I had Dangers of friends with benefits myself that I was actually happier having a fuck buddy arrangement than being in a relationship.
We see each other once a week, we laugh, we talk, we fuck and then we go about our lives. He got a girlfriend and he lied about it. There is NO reason to lie.
The amount of hurt it brought to me was unexpected, because I thought I had everything under control. The truth is, in my opinion, after five years, a casual fling is no longer casual: You are in a relationship no matter how noncommittal it may seem.
I learned that the hard way. The Sex is Too Good: Personally, really good sex with someone who is supposed to be just a friend is very dangerous territory for me. For me, I know that really good sex can be so addicting that I start to imagine our chemistry outside the bedroom. There was a man in my past I actually had to cut myself off from — his number had to be deleted and any evidence of him existing in my life at one point needed to be erased for my own emotional sanity.
In my experience, the only way you can have a successful casual arrangement is if the power is equal. When my casual fling Dangers of friends with benefits in a serious relationship I was devastated. Having been a victim of the cheating game myself, I had a major reservations about being the other woman.
One of my friends — who I consider one of the most beautiful and talented artists I know — once phoned me at 2 a. Of course, since I never want to trek to Jersey in the day let alone at two in the morning, I welcomed her visit. Fuck buddies still deserve respect, dammit.
In my early twenties, I started sleeping with one of my friends that clearly had strong feelings for me. So after we had our fun, I would sometimes yawn and move to the couch to have a pleasant sleep alone, leaving him staring at the ceiling, wondering what he had done wrong.
Eventually, what was once a strong friendship morphed into deep-seated resentment towards one another. I definitely learned my lesson the hard way, but that experience has given me the foresight to not get casually involved with someone if one of us is feeling more serious than the other.
The Trust Has Been Broken: They are supposed to be EASY.
There should be no tears, no shouting, and certainly no mistrust because the expectations are clear. For me, my expectations are:. These are, of course, my personal expectations with any friend that has extra benefits and I think they are pretty low.